Hope, Keeping it Real, Struggle Bus

Rising Above Rejection

I have been wrestling with some ideas and thoughts for a little while about rejection and how to rise above it. In the middle of that process, I have begun to recognize how easy it is to become more about routine than relational. 

I personally realize that some of the things I have done or been doing are taking me further away from the intended destination than I even recognized. When and where things have become so routine that I am further away from my purpose and contentment, and damn it if there is not a sense of people pleasing in the middle of it all. 

But God, as I know and understand Him, has continued to show me about rising above rejection. Even so, how things that have served me so well are now becoming routine and not reaching me as deeply as they once did. Having been one that has compromised self-worth, dignity and self-care for the sake of others while sick and deep in codependency I hoped that I would not do the same things again. In a sense, I think I am. I think I could be compromising and rejecting parts of myself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with but are hidden out of sight because I thought it was what I had to do in order to belong, in order to do what was right, honorable, Godly and approved of. Approved of by who is the question. 

For me, I am recognizing how I have compromised by continuing to do what I have always done at the cost of losing myself again. Not in the same ways that I would and did before recovery and before Jesus, but compromising just the same. 

I am fairly confident that God as I know Him says I am fully known and fully loved. In fact, I know that is true. I think deeply, pray, read, research and review from different angles quite frequently. I have to ask myself, and people that I trust to tell me the truth, if I am in denial at all or just a little bit or not at all just to be sure. We all know how easy it is to rationalize. 

For hell’s sake it makes me so freaking mad when I see the patterns that I thought were long broken sneaking in. I hate how my past tendencies to hide and not talk about what I am really thinking or feeling sneaks in there. It really frustrates this recovering perfectionist knowing that I know better, and yet find myself doing it again. Still. 

Friends, here’s the thing. We get to decide. We get to choose. We get to turn away from those old patterns again and again and again. We get to deepen our relationship with God as we understand Him and don’t need to do the same things over and over again just because it is routine or safe or comfortable. Nothing big happens when we hold back. 

So, as I become increasingly aware of just how individualized and special that relationship between He and I is, I would encourage you to fight to rise above rejection. Do the healing work, do the new things, and be not afraid to rise above rejection experienced in the past and experienced by our own doing and understanding. 

Just because it is safe and comfortable, doesn’t mean it is right. Thank God I have people to remind me of that from time to time. I don’t grow when I get too comfortable. And in a time where God keeps whispering, “Move, loved one.” I am beginning to see more of what that means. Honestly, He keeps telling me in many ways, and I am moving. I am moving ever so slowly towards what He has been trying to get me see in all arenas of my life, not just the ones that I thought.

How are you capitalizing on the time you are in, the time that you have to work at rising above rejection? Are you setting boundaries and/or letting go of things that have served their purpose and time? Are you ready to move into a new time of rising above rejection after finding that you have been invited and reminded to stop rejecting your whole self? 

Hope, Keeping it Real

Daring to….

Anyone out there get older and more experienced in life and forget that it is okay to dream? I know I have. 

How about forgetting how to laugh and be silly and free? Yep, me too. 

I think as we learn to adult and handle more crap, that we sometimes forget that it is okay to be a whole person. To be a healthier person, as it turns out, requires us to be a whole person. One that is bold enough to dream, vulnerable enough to cry and be authentic without fear of judgement of our inappropriate thoughts or behaviors at times. Now, I am talking about harmless and silly behavior, not radically not okay behavior so don’t come at me. 

When was the last time you dared to dream? When was the last time you spent wasting time doing exactly whatever you wanted that brings you joy, laughter, levity and stories that will one day be told at your memorial service? What are the embarrassing but worth it moments that you and your people still laugh about today? 

What have you tried to do that you have always been afraid to do. What kind of food have you tried? What places have you visited that were always on your list of “some day” that you finally got to see or experience? 

I will tell you one of mine: I recently learned that I actually like green olives. Random, I know. But I would not have discovered it if I hadn’t chosen to spend time with my best friend over a nice dinner cooked at home in the middle-end-whatever it is quarantine. The first time I dared to go outside the rules and just live for a minute. Can I get an amen? 

With other close friends and the willingness to be brave and laugh with each other: I have learned that one dear friend invested in some sort of contraption that you roll on your legs to minimize cellulite. I don’t know if it works or not, but the laughter in that conversation sure made it worth the cost, I am sure. For both of us. 

We can laugh about eyebrow waxing disasters, the challenges of plucking hairs from your face that should not be there without being able to see what you are plucking, and all of the times we snorted, laughed and were afraid to share because we thought we would sound ridiculous. We can talk about food discoveries, travel discoveries, and dream discoveries, too. 

People, we know that there are all sorts of other more serious and emotionally-charged topics we can dare to dream about it or ponder and conversate on. For just a little minute, can we chat about laughter and silliness and things that make you giggle? 

Your turn! What are some of your silliest or funniest moments and memories connected to daring to dream and laugh and be whole? Care to share?