I did this to myself and now I am reaping what I have sown.
Have you ever said that to yourself? Yeah, me too. Recently, I find myself beating myself up a little bit about a choice that was SO DANG GOOD for me. I took a break, went a little wild and took a little trip to my favorite place on earth and that should be a really, really good thing. It was. It is.
The problem is that I have a difficult time making sure I am doing what I need to do for myself and when I do things that might disappoint someone else, then I start second-guessing my choices and decisions to do what I am confident is the right thing for me. Maybe you are a recovering people-pleaser codependent that can understand this concept. Let me remind you that self-care is not selfish. Repeat that a few times in case you forget it.
E V E R Y single time I return from my home state, I feel a little blue and down and out of sorts. The upside is that I am normally past that state of being in a few days. This time, it’s been a lot different.
Here are the facts:
Exhibit A-We are in a pandemic and it is wise to limit interaction with other human beings whenever possible to slow the spread and flatten the curve.
Exhibit B-This means that life as we know it is blown to you-know-what.
Exhibit C-Mental health is important and I am losing my ever-loving mind being cooped up in my house where I get to work all day, clock out, hang out, and get up and do it all again five days a week.
Exhibit D-It does not appear that this is going to let up any time soon. Sigh. So we all have choices to make.
Exhibit E-We get to decide how we live the life we have been given, who we spend our time with and how we go about loving the people around us.
So, I am deciding what it looks like to do what God wants me to do. Love Him, love others and that includes me. That includes you. I am reaping what I have sown and, with His help, in the very best way possible. I am reaping what He has sown into me and how He created me to be.
The God we know will be with us wherever we go. I know He is with us while we play house in our houses, and don’t hear what I am not saying. I am not saying I am ungrateful for the opportunity to work from home, slow down, and really pray and think about what God wants to teach me in the middle of this. If there’s anything I have learned that He will hold open the door while we decide which ones to knock down and which ones to go around; which ones to kick down and which ones to walk through.
He is in it with us no matter what choices we make during this time. This time that we cannot really seem to get away from talking about. I remember when it started that it was just going to be a couple of weeks or a month at most. That was precious, now wasn’t it?
What doors do you need to kick down? What doors do you need to go around? What adjustments do you need to make to keep yourself sane and healthy?