Hope

Grace Over Grudge

I’ve been praying on and thinking a lot about forgiveness, my tongue, my thoughts and my actions when it all comes down to it. My own stuff. I have also had numerous conversations recently about the same things. 

Honestly, relationships are difficult but in times like today the difficulty level has been magnified. Admittedly, the issues existed long before THIS happened but for a lot of people it seems that the time has come to face the music. Even though I am not currently in a relationship, I still have time to reflect on my own past behavior and how even in just a normal everyday relationship (work, friendship, whatever) I still need to be aware of my own tendencies and conduct.

Our future destiny, as followers of Jesus, is determined by our present conduct. I want to be characterized by grace, not a grudge. How about you? I want to be characterized by grace for others and grace for myself when I did not and do not always do the right thing. How about you?

1 Peter 3:9 says this: Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were allied so that you may inherit a blessing.

In this scripture, Peter is really telling us to grow up and to not try to earn the blessing that happens when we do, but to instead receive it as our inheritance. It isn’t about the blessing, but the One who does the blessing. The One who extends endless grace time after time, and does not repay insult to Him with insult to us. Read this same scripture in The Message and it becomes plain as day. 

1 Peter 3:9 That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Insead, bless-that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing

Forgiveness is hard when we choose to hold a grudge. Restoration and reconciliation is nearly impossible when we don’t choose grace. Grace doesn’t say that what the other person has done to hurt me is okay. Grace says I will choose to see through eyes of compassion and tender-heartedness even when it hurts. Grace is what I want and expect others to give to me. How about you? 

Sometimes forgiveness happens in an instant supernatural moment, and sometimes it takes years and years and years to be able to forgive. He is right in the middle of both. 

I know I need to do intentional work to grow up in grace. I want to be known by grace, not a grudge. 

Hope

Like-Minded

Every single human on this earth wants the same basic things: to feel loved, heard, cared for, secure and safe. Every single human on this earth is wired to receive all of that through God, our Heavenly Father and lover supreme. 

We all have filters and character defects that sometimes prevent others from offering those things to us. We all have God who also offers the same things to us and is the only one who can get it right every.single.time.

In order to feel loved, we have to first be able to give and receive love. In order to feel heard, we have to learn to use our voice and also listen. To be cared for, we first have to care. To be secure and safe, we first have to find our safety and security in Him.

I love the idea that the same character defects that can be used to destroy, can also be used to bring life if we turn it over to Him.

Most of us have to learn all of this hardway. In learning it the hard way, it is a lesson deeply ingrained in me that I won’t easily forget. How about you? Do I have an occasional memory lapse? Absolutely yes. It is true that there cannot be light without darkness. 

I was thinking about the words in scripture found in 1 Peter 3:8 that say, “Finally, all of you be like-minded, be sympathetic, love on another, be compassionate and humble.” I landed on like-minded and camped on that for a bit. 

Like-minded? What does that mean? That I have to agree with everything someone says or does or believes? No, not actually. For me, it means like-minded in terms of basic needs and securities. 

What does that have to do with filters and character defects and all of that? Well, could it be that the person that we are in a relationship with is wired for the same things and needs and wants the same thing as us? Could it be that the person that is not using words towards me that are helpful, really needs me to help them bring out the words, thoughts and feelings that they are trying to share with me? 

Could it be that one of my many character defects (aka talents) could be used for His glory and my good? Yes. It is possible. For example: my filter of rejection and abandonment can cause me to hear things that you DID NOT say. If you speak that language, then you know what I mean. In other words, I hear past what you said and instead hear, “I don’t like you. I am leaving you. I don’t want to be around you.You are not safe with me,” Think bigger now, and think about communication gaps and how we can use that same exact thing in an upside down way to hear that the person is actually saying, behind the words that they ARE saying. 

I seriously do not have this all figured out, friends. I still have to go through a mental, emotional, spiritual checklist on the regular. I still have to ask for Him to reveal what is actually happening in my heart and head before I get all the more confused and butthurt. Seriously. 

Here’s my challenge for all of us. Grow to be more like-minded with Jesus in our thoughts and actions. Think and pray before we spout and say. Develop like-mindedness in all of our relationships as a result. Simple equation, so hard to do. Thanks for holding me accountable!