Keeping it Real

When patience is tested

I got up at least 6 times throughout the night last night and my cranky was at a level 4, but not quite defcon level 5.

It’s been like this every night for almost a week now. I don’t know that I remember how to have a newborn in the house again. But that drive kicks in and we do what we do because that’s what love does.

To be clear, I am not always appreciative of the opportunity to be tested in my patience or my grace. In fact, while getting my mom patient dressed this morning I may or may not have told her that I would suffocate her if she didn’t start sleeping at night. She knew I was kidding, but for the real, I am whooped.

I cannot help but see how God sees me again and again, doing the same dumb things that cause trouble or pain or rattle my peace. He keeps loving me when I keep Him up all night, I am sure.

And the next morning He wakes me up to continue to live and love loudly knowing that before nightfall my patience will be tested and I will also have the chance to love bigger. Like making a fancy breakfast for the one that keeps me up all night, He loves big and loves when I am exhausting because He so loves me and you as well.

He loves still. He loves despite and He loves because love does.

So, I invite you to reflect and share about the times you are exhausted and your peace has been rattled. Do you choose to love bigger and louder? How do you change the trajectory of your day and perspective when you’re whooped? Can you see yourself and others through the eyes of grace?

Hope

Choosing a response

So, today I moved my mom in with me. I knew when God said that He wanted me to trust Him and do this that I would choose to respond.

There was some arguing and whining about what it would cost me, but in truth what it cost me (emotionally and physically, not financially) is far less than what it has already gained me. I didn’t do it because of the benefit to me in any way, I did it because God says love Him and love others. She is an other no matter our history.

And so, today I settled her in, made her lunch and helped her shower. I was hit with the image of Jesus washing His disciples feet as I washed her hair. It was in that moment that I gained another HUGE perspective about choosing the response He would ask me to. Choosing the response that looks past so many things and sees your incredibly sick mother as another piece of His handiwork and having compassion for her and the things she didn’t choose as I would have it.

Choosing to see the incredible love and compassion that He has for me. A broken sinner, learning to live loved and love like Jesus.

Today was a special day and affirmation that His plans are always better than my own.

My encouragement for you today, dear loved ones, no matter who or what you believe is to see those around you with the eyes of compassion. Check to see if there are places and relationships in your life that you may not be choosing the best response for them or for you and then choose to adjust if needed.

Hope, Keeping it Real

Before, Beyond and a Little Horse Training

I have been intentionally focused on so much beyond what my heart can even process over the last few weeks. I am choosing to stay in the moment, and not be distracted by things that are way out of my control and instead choosing to do something about what I can. 

The political climate, the division, the non-stop argument about vaccinate or not to vaccinate, and all of the other things swirling in the cesspool of the media and public outcry would have been really distracting, intriguing and debilitating before. 

Before, the situation we are walking through with my mom’s illnesses and all the complications that has brought, would have left me in a pity pool party for one. 

And I know, without a doubt in my mind, that God knew the before, He knew the now and He knows the beyond. When I get stuck in the middle of wanting to understand the why, and find myself beginning to care a bit too much about opinions and lack of wisdom then I start doing and thinking in a pattern of before. I even start behaving in a pattern similar to that which was before. 

I am constantly having my head turned round like a stubborn-headed horse that wants to go their own way. He is constantly having to remind me who has the reins and who doesn’t. He doesn’t do it forcefully, but gently. He uses constant even pressure to remind me that He has control and can see beyond. He uses a still, small, steady voice to remind me that it’s all going to be okay, because He has everything lined out ahead.

Beyond four months ago, when the last thing I ever imagined I would be doing was taking my mom into my home to care for her when she cannot truly care for herself any longer.

 Beyond a year ago, when we weren’t even speaking to each other.

 Beyond nearly six years ago, when I had to set the boundary for my own sanity while He knew what was coming and had some horse-training to do. 

 Beyond a period of more than eight years of walking with Jesus, choosing recovery and continuing to practice the principles in all my affairs when this stubborn horse would rather just run or quit. 

My hope is in the One who knows the beyond because He is the beyond. He is not only beyond but above all things. 

The things of this world, they may matter some, but they don’t have the final say. The hurts, habits and hangups do not have to have the final say when He is given the reins as many times as it takes. Eventually, the horse will no longer need to be regularly reminded of who is in control or who has the reins.  Even the most well-trained but still stubborn horse needs a little tune up every once in a while. 

My encouragement today is to remember that He goes before. He goes beyond. He can see what we cannot see. My question is how many times in the last months has he gently pressured  and turned your stubborn head around to remind you that He has everything held gently in the palm of His hand?

Have you forgotten that He is not only the lamb, but the lion?

We sit in the before every day that we wake up and know that one day all things will be new again. We can look forward to the beyond where He went before us. 

Hope

Being Upheld and Holding Up

We made it! We saw the end of a difficult year and now we turn the page for the next chapter.

I have never been the “what’s my word of the year” person or been super big on sitting down and writing down a list of goals, but I do take the time to reflect, review and look forward to a fresh page. 

As I am reflecting, talking with God and thinking about what has happened and what has yet to happen, I hear Him telling me, “Take forward with you all the good, and the bad, because without one there isn’t the other.”

The recovering instant-gratification girl would really like to be able to button up the crazy 2020 chapter with a pretty little bow, but the living-in-the-moment girl knows that’s pretty much not remotely possible. 

I hear Him whisper, “I have upheld you. I have strengthened you” and I KNOW that to be true. So, when I think of being upheld and how I am holding up and how we are collectively holding up I can not only think of what I personally have faced in the last 12 months, but so many other people I know as well. Not one person I know has had a stellar year, but we have all had opportunity and reason to take some stellar lessons with us into the next one. 

How have I been strengthened? How have you been strengthened? Through trouble and hardship; mourning and loss; and division and drama. I think I am familiar with that territory. He has a great track record of holding me up, strengthening me through the stretching of faith muscles and trust muscles, and I have held up just fine. It was not painless, but it was an exercise in what to hold on to and what to let go of. 

My relationship with God is stronger. It’s being held up. My relationship with my siblings is stronger. Those relationships are being held up. My connection with my dad is stronger, and it was held up through the strain his children are experiencing facing a horrible set of circumstances with our mother-his ex wife. My relationship with my mom, the person that hurt me the most, loved me the worst, and did the very best she could do at the time is stronger. He is holding it up and I am being held through every challenging piece of the story while the book comes closer to the ending. 

My reflection is this: what do I want to carry with me, and what do I want to leave behind? I tell you, I don’t think I can leave one piece of it behind. Since He has a great way of using all things for His glory and our good, I don’t think we can just spit out the things and pieces that leave a bad taste in our mouths. Instead, we take it all forward. Without the bad, there cannot be the good. Without darkness, nobody can see the light. 

The situations, circumstances, changes and losses of this last year will always serve a bigger purpose if we let them. I will take forward the moments of hard; the times that isolation became too heavy; and the days that felt like they were years long because there was a limit placed on what we could do, where we could go and what we could do. The extra bonus complications that the pandemic brought also brought out creativity. I had to get creative many times over in how I was going to afford another special memory for my mom or with my mom. I did not always like it or see it as a great opportunity, and I bitched, moaned and complained. But being held up, helped up and held onto by my God meant that I would soon see the blessings even in the many bummers once again. I still saw 365 sunrises and sunsets. I still had love and loss and all in betweens. I had major milestone high moments and some really ugly low moments. I had a lot of BIG feelings and I didn’t hide from them. I had a lot of opinions and still managed to do what I could to keep my mouth shut in wisdom and grace. 

As a reminder for you and I, He will strengthen us. None of us truly can get through our lives without Him being the good God that He is. His strength to carry us out of, over, and through the things He knew were coming is all we have to get us through the hardest of days. 

When this period of history is written in the books, I hope that we can reflect on all the good in it. Many times before in our history, in our personal lives we have gone through dark things (addictions, divorces, child loss, death, etc.) and He has given us wisdom, peace, recovery and growth beyond our understanding. I am confident that He will continue to do the exact same thing with all of this and whatever comes next. 

So, thank you 2020 for all that you have taught us. Thank you Jesus for what you have upheld us through. Truly. We have all experienced more love for our neighbor; more creativity in difficult times; more compassion for those with less resources, less family or those that don’t even know that they belong to You as Your children; and we have all experienced the loss, rebuilding and value of community and basic human decency. 

Welcome 2021, we are stronger than whatever silliness you have to throw us, we are being upheld by the One true God and we are not just ready to hold up but to level up. 

Keeping it Real

Interruptions and Interventions

What an exhausting, trying and beautiful year 2020 has been. I have been reflecting on the troubles and trials so much and it is sometimes difficult to find the silver linings but they are definitely there. Sometimes you just have to look harder to find them!

I got to go to church service in person yesterday for what feels like the first time in forever. And, it was just what my weary soul needed. God knew! 

Yesterday started off in the normal pattern of a text from mom, a sudden burst of anxiety of “now what” and decisions and actions that are anything but normal. But for now, they are my normal. Phone calls and conversations about whether to continue treatments or not knowing that the treatments being received are the only real tangible things keeping a person alive. Decisions and actions to remove something from my overloaded plate that was both heartbreaking and at the same time gave me a huge sense of relief and peace. Both and. There’s always a “both and” it seems. 

As I walked through the doors of the church I felt peace. I felt home. I felt relief. I felt love. I felt anticipation not anxiety. I was greeted with familiar faces and friends and it felt nice to feel normal. God intervened in a way that I didn’t see coming. 

I worshipped my God and felt His presence. I listened to the message about interruptions, and I heard God speaking directly to me about messy people, messy situations and that being the whole point of the Christmas season. I listened to the story of the interruption, the splitting of time and how God uses the messiest people to do His greatest work. All things I have heard before, and all things I know. However, familiarity DOES set in after a while and without God, there would be no impact on my heart and life if I allowed the mundane and familiar to take hold. 

Love like Jesus. Love messy people. Love people when they are messy. Love when it is hard and more so when it is hard. Love the hardest people to love, because I am not always the easiest person to love. All interventional thoughts that came to mind as I felt Him speaking to me. 

Nothing about the circumstances I and my family find ourselves in are normal. This year has been a year of constant interruption, disruption and turning upside down. As we walk through the season of the end of life for my mom, He intervenes to remind me that even when I am so.freaking.tired and so.freaking.annoyed at having the same conversations about health, money, the care she is receiving, the demands and the complaints she has over every.little.thing;  I am to be a messenger of great joy for all people for all times. 

And so, this intervention and reminder of my own frailties and inadequacies; the times that I am more grumpy than grateful; the times that I whine more than I should and all of the times I am difficult to love all served to refuel my desperate need for God, my church family, my recovery and my relationship with Jesus. 

Without His interruption and intervention, I would be so lost. There’s no way that what we are walking through could ever be done without Him. 

I am grateful to walk through the season we are in, in the time we are in, and realize that ultimately I am loving as best I can, doing the best I can and that this is a gift to give my mother the best last days and months of her life that we possibly can. It is a gift to be able to help someone die well. Truly. We don’t know exactly when that decision will be made, and she will be ready to just let God take her without the use of medical treatments, but I know that she is getting closer to making that decision. We have had the conversations, and it is both painful and beautiful to have that conversation with a person that you have had a VERY complicated and difficult relationship with. It is difficult to tell someone that she does not have to hold on for her kids, that she gets to choose when she is ready to stop and that we WILL be okay. It is both horrible and wonderful. 

My encouragement today is to remember to look at the person that is difficult and draining and look past what they are saying and doing, to feel what they might be feeling and have compassion. Then ask God for his intervention and strength to continue to love that hurting, scared, angry person underneath as Jesus loves you. 

Hope

Staying in the moment when I would rather not

It’s been awhile. It’s been a road. It’s been a challenging season with way too many things happening all at once that’s taking a heavy toll on me in every way possible.

But knowing that God isn’t surprised at all and that He will make all things right brings some comfort and peace sometimes. I am not yet angry with God. Honestly. It isn’t His doing that finds us with the reality of the end days or months of our mom’s life.

I AM angry though. I am fighting not being resentful of her because a good portion of this she did have control over and chose not to change habits or lifestyle. And then there’s the financial choices she made and didn’t which leaves us to figure out to not only pay for her basic needs but her cremation or services when the time comes. In my heart, I know that day is far more near than we would hope it to be, and at the same time I ask God to take her home.

When the anger and resentment comes I am reminded of “thou shall not judge” and have to look in the mirror.

And so, trying to live in one moment at a time is stupid hard when we also have to make decisions that are best for her when there’s so many if/then scenarios in play.

So, I keep praying. I keep trusting. I keep doing. I keep feeling. I keep struggling to accept the love, care, and offers of help in various forms. I forget how to love others and let others love me. I do.

What we are dealing with isn’t uncommon. It’s not any harder than what other families go through. There’s no chapter in the playbook that explains how to deal with making the best decisions possible during a deadly virus outbreak. There’s no chapter that adds in our very special set of family dynamics. There’s just not.

Mixed in with total hell is absolute joy and amazing grace. I have a lot to talk about and yet nothing to say. I’m exhausted and cannot sleep at the same time. I’m in the middle of both/and. We are in the middle of a storm and a miracle.

Whenever I start to wonder what the next day looks like let alone the next few months I am assured that He is already there.

Hope, Keeping it Real

When Everything Stops and Doesn’t Stop All at Once

It’s been a while. It’s been a year and it has been five minutes and it has been a hellacious couple of weeks. In the middle of this, I sure hope you find some encouragement.

Labor Day 5:39-ish p.m. (September 7, 2020) my whole world as I knew it tipped upside down. The phone calls began. The searching began. The calm mixed with panic began. The expecting the worst and praying for the best began. 

What do you do when you find out that your mother is lost, delusional and doesn’t really want to cooperate in being located? You drive. Like a bat out of hell. You talk on the phone, text and break all the rules while you communicate with your sister and two different police dispatchers in two different towns. 

That night, everything I knew stopped and did not stop. Since then, it has been a nightmare and a blessing all mixed up in one. 

We just found out the hard way that my mom has dementia with behavioral disturbances. We just found out she knew something was going on and hid it from everyone. We just found out her financial condition, the condition of her home and health and her mind all at once. To say it has been an overwhelming experience is a total understatement. 

A few weeks before things really blew up, I had written her a letter. From the phone calls that I was getting from my sister and all of the things happening, it was clear that something was not right. It was there, and yet we were in denial. But I was not in denial about the fact that after 4.5 years of estrangement, I was now in a place that I needed my mom to know I loved her despite all that had happened between us. If the worst was happening, I did not want her to disappear from our lives feeling or thinking that I did not love, admire and forgive her over and over again. She received that letter, and she knew how I felt and received everything I needed to say to her and all that she needed to hear. What an awesome thing God did to allow that to happen at just the right time. No matter what happens now, she knows.

I have spent more time in my car and eating on the road than I have in my own home over the last two weeks. I have driven a minimum of 125 miles a day, moved her belongings, seen her face every single day, and talked to her multiple times a day in between. And the doctors. And the lawyers. And the family. And the friends. 

I have received the incredible blessing of love and support in hugs, gift cards, prayers, texts, phone calls and all sorts of ways. That family of friends that has been my lifeline is right with me holding me up. Holding us up. HE is holding us up. 

We have been told by one memory care home that they would love to have her, then decided against it in the same 24-hour period leaving us to scramble to find something else because she was soon to be discharged from where she was being taken care of. She clearly cannot fully take care of herself, and that stubborn, independent, adventurous part of her is still very much there but in a very delusional and unsafe way. I have a lot to say about the care she received before arriving at the place she will call home now. I have a lot to say about the lack of care and compassion and concern and the disgusting truth about some of what has been experienced. I have a lot of funny/not funny stories about what she has said and done mixed in with the terrifying facts and experiences and what-could-have-been as well. All of these things I will wait to tell you about if I ever do. All that matters right now is she is safe, that I have a whole new perspective on many things, and that I am so incredibly sad for the families that don’t have the same supports or information that ours currently does. 

I have learned how awesome the brain is and how memories get mixed up and what dementia looks like from the inside out so far. All of this, with my sister and best friend right next to me, and my brother just a phone call away. I have laughed, cried, grieved, mourned, been angry, and been detached all at once. Being all of these things all at one time is so freaking exhausting. 

But God. He has provided the exact amount of financial support that I need to have food and gas. He knew this was coming.  He has provided financial assistance to carry us through her first month of VERY expensive care while we jump through all of the hoops to get her situated. 

He has provided a safe place for her with LOVING people that understand the impact of dementia on families as well as the impact of the stupid effing pandemic that keeps us apart from each other. I have been able to settle her into her new home (mostly) and see her face-to-face without a window, for as long as we want to sit together, and they look the other way when she forgets that she cannot hug her kids right now. 

He knew it was coming because there are countless people in my life that have experienced or are experiencing this. We/I have support and people that have gone before to help answer questions. A lot of it. He knew what we would need far before we asked for it. 

I tell you what, if I told you all the ways that He has shown up you just would hardly believe it. But I do, because He has. 

So, I don’t apologize for not writing or creating. I have been merely surviving and waddling through each day the best I can. The best we can. This has been a team effort for sure. Some of you have been part of this and I don’t have words right now to tell you what that has meant. Thank you is not sufficient. 

My prayer requests are that we get to have our mom with us as long as possible; that my brother would get his butt on a plane and get down here before she does not know who he is; that the neurologists would have a clear answer and path for what happens next; and that the path would be wide and smooth for the paperwork and things that have to be put in place in order to provide her the best care possible in the months ahead. 

Everything stopped and didn’t stop all at once. Chances are the progression of the disease is going to move forward, not backward. Chances are this is going to be a long road for a long time. Chances are that mom will know that she is loved, cared for and pampered with pretty much whatever her heart desires along the way. 

Hope, Keeping it Real

The If/Then Equation

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

Our Father God is a relational, loving God. This scripture is found in the Bible after the first temple in Jerusalem has been completed and King Solomon threw a week-long party. That party led to a walk of shame.

Perhaps what He is saying is that He doesn’t want a fancy building or our constant efforts (works) to impress, serve, or get close to Him. He wants our hearts. He wants our trust. He wants to hear from His children. 

He wants us to not call ourselves Christ followers but to be Christ followers. And notice that this scripture points out the if/then equation. Notice that He lines it out very simply.

If we humble ourselves (admit our need for the Savior), seek Him (crave His face, guidance and goodness), and repent (stop doing, saying, thinking and believing the things that lead to our own walks of shame) and call to Him THEN He promises to hear us, forgive us and heal our land.

That’s a sure deal. A sure bet. A guaranteed promise. 

Throughout the Bible, He tells us the recipe for a healthy life-a healthy land is to believe and receive. When He speaks about healthy land He is asking us to get right with Him, with others and to share His goodness with the people that don’t know Him. We have the opportunity to do His work alongside Him. 

We make that far more complicated through our limited understanding and the things that we have experienced or witnessed in the name of Christianity. Even at that, if we repent (the 5-dollar Bible word for turning from our old compulsive behaviors and actions)  He is dancing and celebrating simply hearing our words. 

Every promise and prophecy in the Bible has been fulfilled in and through Jesus. His timing may not be the same as ours, but He does what He says He will do. Every time.

We get things so out of order sometimes. We think we have to get our act together or be better or do better to experience the relentless and reckless love of God. That’s religion.

Jesus calls us into relationship just as we are. In and through Him, we will experience healing. In and through Him we will experience the fulfillment of the if/then equation. Humility isn’t the same as weakness. Humility is surrender and right-sized thinking. 

Thoughts for the day: How have you already experienced the if/then equation with Jesus? What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to start doing?

Prayer: Father God-thank You that you that You understand our tendency to do the wrong thing. Thank You that You fulfill every promise You ever make. Forgive me for making that so complicated. Help me to let go of the chains of shame and begin to hold up my end of the deal. I humbly admit my need for You today and every day. Amen

Keeping it Real

Permission without Pretending

The other day I said something to my person, my best friend, and it seemed inappropriate and random at the time, but it has really stuck with me for a few days.

I said, “If I stay pissed off and pretend I am mad, then it keeps the feelings of insecurity and all of that away so I am choosing to stay mad about it.” 

She laughed at me and with me, and then said to me, “I get it. I am on your team, and I am not going anywhere. If that’s what you need to do for yourself, then okay.” 

I am in a bit of a headspace right now where I am fighting feelings of insecurity and wanting to kick myself in the ass for risking vulnerability and not sure I can trust my own judgement while waiting on some sort of change or judgement or course-correction to come down. 

There are so many hard things happening around us. Good Lord, this is turning out to be the absolute longest year of my life. While so many awesome things have happened and are still happening, I am literally emotionally exhausted. I think we all are for one reason or another. 

I am going through the list of comparison, disillusionment, what-if, over-thinking and still somehow choosing to manage to get up and show up. I so badly want to make the best of a shitty situation and somehow keep living. Everything is so freaking complicated at this point and it is wearing me down. 

I do want to stay mad. But I have a rule about that. I tell myself that I am allowed to feel what I feel, rational or not, for a day. Maybe two. We can get happy in the same pants we got grumpy in. 

But this time, I am feeling like I just want to stay there. I want to stay guarded, stay walled up, stay protected and not risk anything other than finding out who is with me in the middle of this and who isn’t. And then, I don’t actually care because I can function in lone-ranger mode if I need to. Well, I do care and I don’t want to actually be in lone-ranger mode but I tell myself I do so I can feel better for a minute. 

In a time where nothing and everything makes sense, and it just seems like one plot-twist after another, I don’t want the plot twists that they always have been. I would rather avoid that. The reality is, that risking a different outcome takes a different approach and a bigger trust and confidence that it will all work out the way it is meant to. 

I want it to be certain. I am exhausted from uncertainty. I am exhausted from being in the middle of plot twist after plot twist after plot twist.

I still give myself permission to choose how I want to or need to respond. I am still choosing to do what I need to do to survive and am hopeful that choosing to survive will be turned back into choosing to thrive.

Joy Junkie

Be well! Get honest and real with that one or two people that you are not afraid to risk vulnerability with and hold nothing back. If we can manage that today, then we are moving in the right direction. Maybe it doesn’t look or feel like the next right thing, but I am telling you that we have to continue to give ourselves permission to be right where we are whether that is gloriously undignified and irrational or not. Eventually, one day at a time, we can move from there to the next right thing. 

Where you are, what you are feeling and what you are thinking right now is okay. It doesn’t mean it’s true or accurate but give yourself permission to go through that story of what you are telling yourself and then talk about it. Talk about it when it makes no sense, it isn’t pretty or appropriate or polished.  

The people that aren’t going anywhere can help you unbullshitify the story. 

Hope, Keeping it Real, Struggle Bus

Rising Above Rejection

I have been wrestling with some ideas and thoughts for a little while about rejection and how to rise above it. In the middle of that process, I have begun to recognize how easy it is to become more about routine than relational. 

I personally realize that some of the things I have done or been doing are taking me further away from the intended destination than I even recognized. When and where things have become so routine that I am further away from my purpose and contentment, and damn it if there is not a sense of people pleasing in the middle of it all. 

But God, as I know and understand Him, has continued to show me about rising above rejection. Even so, how things that have served me so well are now becoming routine and not reaching me as deeply as they once did. Having been one that has compromised self-worth, dignity and self-care for the sake of others while sick and deep in codependency I hoped that I would not do the same things again. In a sense, I think I am. I think I could be compromising and rejecting parts of myself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with but are hidden out of sight because I thought it was what I had to do in order to belong, in order to do what was right, honorable, Godly and approved of. Approved of by who is the question. 

For me, I am recognizing how I have compromised by continuing to do what I have always done at the cost of losing myself again. Not in the same ways that I would and did before recovery and before Jesus, but compromising just the same. 

I am fairly confident that God as I know Him says I am fully known and fully loved. In fact, I know that is true. I think deeply, pray, read, research and review from different angles quite frequently. I have to ask myself, and people that I trust to tell me the truth, if I am in denial at all or just a little bit or not at all just to be sure. We all know how easy it is to rationalize. 

For hell’s sake it makes me so freaking mad when I see the patterns that I thought were long broken sneaking in. I hate how my past tendencies to hide and not talk about what I am really thinking or feeling sneaks in there. It really frustrates this recovering perfectionist knowing that I know better, and yet find myself doing it again. Still. 

Friends, here’s the thing. We get to decide. We get to choose. We get to turn away from those old patterns again and again and again. We get to deepen our relationship with God as we understand Him and don’t need to do the same things over and over again just because it is routine or safe or comfortable. Nothing big happens when we hold back. 

So, as I become increasingly aware of just how individualized and special that relationship between He and I is, I would encourage you to fight to rise above rejection. Do the healing work, do the new things, and be not afraid to rise above rejection experienced in the past and experienced by our own doing and understanding. 

Just because it is safe and comfortable, doesn’t mean it is right. Thank God I have people to remind me of that from time to time. I don’t grow when I get too comfortable. And in a time where God keeps whispering, “Move, loved one.” I am beginning to see more of what that means. Honestly, He keeps telling me in many ways, and I am moving. I am moving ever so slowly towards what He has been trying to get me see in all arenas of my life, not just the ones that I thought.

How are you capitalizing on the time you are in, the time that you have to work at rising above rejection? Are you setting boundaries and/or letting go of things that have served their purpose and time? Are you ready to move into a new time of rising above rejection after finding that you have been invited and reminded to stop rejecting your whole self?